You are here:   Quotes
  |  Login



“We never make sport of religion, politics, race or mothers. A mother never gets hit with a custard pie. Mothers-in-law-yes. But mothers-never.”

~Mack Sennett

"Difference between law and in-law is you can justify yourself before law but never before in-laws"

“The mother-in-law frequently forgets that she was a daughter-in-law”


 “Never rely on the glory of the morning nor the smiles of your mother-in-law.”

~Japanese Proverb

Happiness Is Seeing Your Mother-In-Law’s Face On The Back Of A Milk Carton.

“Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport”

~Henry Youngman

“English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation.”

“Back of every achievement is a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law.”

~Brooks Hays

“Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel”

~Josh Billings

“I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said ‘Are you going to help?’ I said ‘No, six should be enough’. “

~Les Dawson

“I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.”

~ Henry Youngman

“I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months. I don't like to interrupt her.”

~ Ken Dodd

“The wife's Mother said, ‘When you're dead, I'll dance in your grave.’ I said: ‘Good, I'm being buried at sea’.”

~ Les Dawson

“My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale.”

~ Les Dawson

“Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law.”

~ Sholom Aleichem, Mark Twain and others

“I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, ‘Get the hell off my property’.”

~ Joan Rivers

“I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.”

~ Les Dawson

“Honolulu? Well, it's got everything: sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.”

~ Ken Dodd