In-Law Jokes

In-Law Antics

A young wife came home one day and found her mother standing in a bucket of water with her finger stuck in the light socket.

The young husband was standing by the switch. 'Hello, darllng,' said the mother, 'George has had this marvellous idea for curing my rheumatism.'

I gave my mother-in-law a waterproof, shockproof, anti-magnetic, unbreakable watch. She went and lost it.

Future Mother-in-Law

This young man comes home all excited to tell his mother he's fallen in love and going to get married. He says: "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you just try and guess which one I'm going to marry."

The mother agrees, so the next day he brings along three beautiful and sits them down on the couch and they chat away for a while. He then says: "Right, OK Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."

She immediately replies, "The one in the middle."

"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"

The future mother-in-law replied: "I don't like her."

Billy Bob's Mule

Gary was traveling down a quiet country road when he noticed a large group of people standing around outside a house. He stopped and asked a farmer why such a large crowd was gathered. The farmer replied," Billy Bob's mule kicked his mother-in-law and she died."

"I see," Gary said. "Well, she must have had a lot of friends."

"Naw," the farmer said, "we just all want to buy his mule."

Standard Security

I was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where my husband was stationed in the military. As I checked in at the airport, the ticket agent asked me some standard security questions. "Has anyone given you any packages that you didn't pack yourself?" he asked. I told him that my mother-in-law had given me a parcel to take to her son.

He looked at me very carefully and asked, "Does she like you?"

The Big Game

A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in- law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.

The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"

"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."

Use Old Before New

A constantly nagged and harrassed husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year Christmas came again and this year he didn't buy her any gift. Mother-in-law was upset and asked the son-in-law why was she forgotten this time.